I’m done trying to impress people!
At least, that’s what I tell myself.
I really am done with it. Until I find myself falling into old patterns of proving my worth or sacrificing who I am to make someone else happy.
I guess the growth in me is seeing it happen and slamming on the brakes. Then fighting off the urge to do it “one last time.”
I truly am comfortable with who I am and who I’m becoming. But, there are these thought patterns burned into my brain that I have to be very intentional about breaking.
I literally have to tell myself, “this person’s opinion doesn’t matter” or “If they don’t like you, they are not your people.”
It’s a conversation in my mind that, while happening less often, still occurs. Learning to me mindful and aware of my triggers and tendencies is key here.
And, to be honest, I can feel the difference. I’m more at ease in public places. I enjoy sitting at the bar having a drink or eating a meal alone. I feel a calm confidence – I enjoy my own company.
I don’t feel the need to make a conversation or connection happen. They do when they do. I can wait. If someone is rude, I let them go on their way. I don’t need that energy.
In this place of growing peace, life has repeatedly put amazing people in my path. I’ve had amazing conversations in recent months. I’ve made connections in random situations. It’s been a little surprising.
I’m letting the universe serve up whatever it wants to give me.
In fact, it’s become so frequent, that when getting into my car or walking into a store, I’ve asked myself, “what awesome person am I going to meet today?”
I’m rarely disappointed.
The Define My Day Impact
This mindset is certainly new for me. It’s taken years to get here. Heck, I’m almost 45 and experiencing this for the first time feels almost ridiculous. But, at least I got here. Some people never do. That hurts my heart a bit.
I would not have gotten here without the process within Define My Day. The repeated, mindful practice of setting my daily course and reaffirming my life’s desires took a while to sink in – but it did.